Monday, December 14, 2009

Unrepentantly Rude

When I travel on the public roads, I am a chronic obstructionist. I am always in the way of others. I hold them up. I delay them. But so what? That’s what happens when I am riding in an automobile. It happens all the time. On every trip.

You do understand that I am talking about traveling in a automobile, don’t you? Curiously though, no one thinks it is rude when I obstruct them, when I am in their way, holding them up and delaying them when I am in a car!

My style of cycling, however, is described as rude. I ride my bicycle in the center of the street, the same place everyone else travels on the public road. You know, in the lane. And I do it in a rude way! Faster traffic has to change lanes to get around me! Ha!

I admit it. I am a serial road ruder.

When it comes to speed limits, I am an underachiever. Around here, they are not set low enough for me to break them. In fact, I often am not aware of what the speed limit is. (Or gasoline prices, but I’ve been told it’s rude to point that out as well.)

I commonly ride my bicycle on roads where the posted speed limit is fifty five miles an hour, and sometimes on a road that is posted at sixty five miles an hour. Not that motorists consider a mere speed limit a restraint on their behavior! **

If there were a minimum speed limit, I would violate that one. But there isn’t, so too bad for you. Boo hoo!

I am a social anarchist. I single handily smash down social norms and rip up social contracts!

Failing to meet the expectations of others to yield my right-of-way to them is a public scandal!

I arrogantly act as though my business on the road was as important as those of the motorists! (Oh what a cheeky fellow I am!)

I obstruct traffic while I use the very roads that gasoline taxes were used to build! I am without a doubt an unapologetic, selfish, free-loading prick!

I expect that I will be hearing from you the next time I take to the road. But if you wish to avoid being a hypocrite, stay out of the way of faster traffic. Pull aside when they approach, won’t you?

** Hey, y’all seem free to express your criticisms about how I drive my bicycle. Ain’t the freedom of speech fun? I get to comment on your competency as a auto driver!

You are operating in public, you know. Did you think I wouldn’t notice your barely adequate skill? I would say that the biggest contrast between your driving and mine is that I drive my vehicle lawfully.


  1. "Road ruder?" I think, before I criticize or agree, I'd have to ride a while in your saddle. Ellis County is far different than NE Tarrant which is not Dallas. Regardless, it's good to see an annoying cyclist back to his tricks!

  2. Effective perspective, my friend. Be safe out there.

  3. I give up.

    Just be safe, mmmmkay?

  4. Reed, what'cha doing for breakfast on the 21st?

  5. Delay is a myth of the impatient mind.

    There is nothing offensively impolite or ill-mannered in using due care.

  6. Unrepentant motorists obstruct each other on the interstate every day. They sit in a parking lot of their own making with nary a bicyclist in site.

  7. You make a very good point that for some insane reason most drivers simply do not seem aware of.

    But on a separate note: You ride on roads with a 65 mph speed limit??.. That would scare the life out of me! Where I live, only highways have such high speed limits, and bicycles are prohibited on highways.

  8. I commute to work (and just about everywhere else) by bike, and I've noticed something.

    While this may not be true in Texas, here in Louisville, KY, the same people who tell us cyclists that we're being too individualistic by exercising our rights to travel in the roadways are often the folks who rail against collectivism in all other forms.

    I'll have to bring this up next time one of them mentions it to me (and point them to your excellent blog) :)